Just last 2 months ago, I was every ecstatic to see you during TLPSG. I thought I’m able to see you again the next concert but…

I should have known, I should have been prepared when I heard the rumors about you leaving but I let it slide.

Everything was fine; I was working, until I got a message from my friend “Dayak. Luhan L” I was shaking so bad and the first thing that came in my mind was the rumors. So, I called her and literally break down in the toilet. I cried harder when she told me about Lay’s support message to him. I cried and cried, ignoring the kids who were looking at me and cried again in front of Gao Lao Shi who asked me if I have heard about the news, telling me that it is all over the Chinese media.

I was actually not looking forward to go home, because I know that I’ll be an emotional wreck once I’m home, in fact, worse. And yes, I was in a mess reading my timeline, my tears can’t stop falling and my keyboards were all wet. My heart hurts so much and my eyes were swollen from all the crying - it’s like as if I just broke up from a relationship, the worst breakup ever.

Thank goodness for Asyilah, who surprised me when she appeared in front of my doorsteps with 2 tubs of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, trying her best to cheer me up, thank you to my timeline friends who keep on telling me to be strong. Without you guys, I won’t be able to survive this heartache.

The you, who in my eyes, shines brighter than the other 11 stars, who always makes me smile and heart flutters whenever I hear your name, will no longer be in the group I’ve stan for 2 years - it’s not the same anymore. People say I will be okay, but I know I won’t, not anytime soon. People say to be happy for you, which in fact, I am cause now you are happier and free but, it’s the memories we’ve shared together that will always leave a scar in my heart.

“Anytime you are hurt or sad,

I will wipe away those tears

As long as you’re with me, no matter where

Heaven is anytime, anywhere”

Just last 2 months ago, I was every ecstatic to see you during TLPSG. I thought I’m able to see you again the next concert but…

I should have known, I should have been prepared when I heard the rumors about you leaving but I let it slide.

Everything was fine; I was working, until I got a message from my friend “Dayak. Luhan L” I was shaking so bad and the first thing that came in my mind was the rumors. So, I called her and literally break down in the toilet. I cried harder when she told me about Lay’s support message to him. I cried and cried, ignoring the kids who were looking at me and cried again in front of Gao Lao Shi who asked me if I have heard about the news, telling me that it is all over the Chinese media.

I was actually not looking forward to go home, because I know that I’ll be an emotional wreck once I’m home, in fact, worse. And yes, I was in a mess reading my timeline, my tears can’t stop falling and my keyboards were all wet. My heart hurts so much and my eyes were swollen from all the crying - it’s like as if I just broke up from a relationship, the worst breakup ever.

Thank goodness for Asyilah, who surprised me when she appeared in front of my doorsteps with 2 tubs of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, trying her best to cheer me up, thank you to my timeline friends who keep on telling me to be strong. Without you guys, I won’t be able to survive this heartache.

The you, who in my eyes, shines brighter than the other 11 stars, who always makes me smile and heart flutters whenever I hear your name, will no longer be in the group I’ve stan for 2 years - it’s not the same anymore. People say I will be okay, but I know I won’t, not anytime soon. People say to be happy for you, which in fact, I am cause now you are happier and free but, it’s the memories we’ve shared together that will always leave a scar in my heart.

“Anytime you are hurt or sad,

I will wipe away those tears

As long as you’re with me, no matter where

Heaven is anytime, anywhere”